Jan 01, 2008

Hello World.

So here I am again. Out to face another year full of challenges, the occasional mishap and the deliriously brief surprises which make up most of my eventful calendar. I am short of making good of all the promises I’ve kept over the last year, but I’m somewhat happy that, at least, I tried. There’s so much to do, but somehow I get stuck in midair and almost paralyzed by the thought of accomplishing everything in so little time. I’ve also taken to wallowing as a hobby. Being idle is like stuck in recently declared non-existent purgatory. It contaminates everything. Case in point: I’ve almost given up writing. I hope I don’t do that definitely. It would be crazy to harbor all these demons and keep it all in the head. Not very good. So here I am again, grasping for words to exhale every bothersome and gnawing thought. I hope to correct myself this year. Rather, cure myself. For real this time. I’m already 26 and the universe wont exactly be waiting for me to finally have the enthusiasm for changing. That’ll take too long. So I’m imposing these therapy-sort of writing sessions upon myself, hoping that when half the year goes by, I’ll be pleasantly at peace with myself.

Love Letter

Dear Existent Void,

I'm starting anew.

The black mood has become sooo overated.

So here I am world.

Love,

The Optimist

Here I Am World

Writing in a completely random( and unknown) blog makes life a tad less miserable. You dispel whatever disease your mind harbored for a week out into the void and no one wants to come out and bite you in the ass for saying the stuff you did(and did not do) last week. The plus side: there is that off-chance that some chronically bored person stumbled onto your secrets and realized how his/her life is actually more miserable that yours. Or not. Oh well. Whatever this does for my sanity.

Here’s something I’d like to dispel. Not because I want to be less miserable, but because I think it’s slowly eating its way into my soul. It’s rotten already and a few more of these thoughts, I’ll eventually become numb… or dead (metaphorically, of course).

November 10, 2007
"There are a couple of things I’d like to write before it spells the end of me. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’ve finally rid of my demons. They’re here to stay, I suppose. I’m not me without these. Whatever these are. I’ve never taken myself to be that eventual being that wins through natural selection. Because I never have been. I may not have the potential either to become one. I am a catastrophe. And that’s short of dramatic interlude. I’m just… well, screwed. That’s the melodrama of it all.
It’s amazing how the mind works. When is dead set to go into sulk-bite-and-die mode, everything just breaks down in unison---your ego and then your immune system. So what am I talking about? I really don’t know now. My mind just went blank."

I wrote this when I was insane. Fortunately, I snap out of these spells and I return to my usual less morbidly miserable self. When did I become so unhappy? I don't know. I take joy in the little things (or so I try to convince myself). The universe these days, however, has other plans. It wants me to take in the bigger picture. But I cant handle that right now. I'm in between mood swings.

Hopefully, I'll get something out of this "vacation". It hasn't been very therapeutic.

Goodbyes and Hellos

Hello. I'm logging off for a while, for a cool six months. I dont know how staving off from the net is going to affect my mental health; but I'm hoping I'll be fine till then. Hehehe...

Adios folks! That is until I can hold off that itch to poke these keys.

Graduation Jitters

I'm finally graduating from lawskul tommorrow.

I'm almost squeamish at the thought. Six months from now, I'll be taking the bar examinations.

Ambrosia For The Senses

I've got so much to tell.

I've had delicious distractions for the past few weeks. But before I say anything else, let me just say, I am in awe of 300. I am not apologetic; I loved every heartless blood-gore minute of it.

300, Frank Miller's version of the Spartans v. Persians annihilation adapted on screen, is senseless and excessive; yet it works. Every scene almost feels like a dance. The costumes, the soldiers' iron bodies(hee), the blood and grime, and the luminous gold backdrop all meld to create this almost sinfully delicious artwork. It's ambrosia for the senses. You wont feel sympathy for the Spartans. You wont feel kindred with the demise of their soldiers nor root for the absolutely stunning Xerses or his hordes of ugly ghouls. You wont feel sorry nor admire the Spartan Queen for her "balls". You will however, drool over the visuals. It's insanely beatiful. Never mind the critics. This movie wasn't made to pick with your brain nor crush your heart. It's meant to thrill your senses without depleting your brain cells. I love it! It's so rakenrol!

Speaking of rakenrol, I bought Bloc Party's Weekend in the City two weeks ago. It's effing fabulous. With the madness that will eventually seep into my system for the next six months, this is my soundtrack for the season. I also got myself a copy of Up Dharma Down's Fragmented. I've waited for it all year, and they finally decided to grace my unknown planet. Its psychedelic. That's all I can say. Somehow, finals week has seriously impaired my brain. I cant squeeze out a review. I'll write one later though. That is, if I still have brain cells in stock.

Stick Insect

I just realized, staring at these photos, I really do have an uncanny resemblance to an Egyptian Mummy. Catatonic almost, like a test subject who just had a lobotomy.

Gawd, I really could pass for a stick insect, the disproportionately-large-(fore)head-and-eyes kind.

I really must learn how to pose for pictures. They do have schools for this, don't they? Do they by any chance teach you to pose Jolie-mode? Hee.