Happy Pills

Hello word, I'm a coke float junkie.

I've been living, no, thriving on it for the past three weeks. Sans scientific findings, ice cream and coca cola are a lethal mix. I swear, those drinks are burning a hole in my stomach.

It's my latest addiction; but in truth, it really is a substitute, isn't it? It is something to fill that void I've been vaguely territorial over for the past 24 years (vague much?). The fact that I cant mention it without getting cryptic reinforces the conclusion that I really need to get hold of these illusions I've been subconsciously pining over.

Ah, whatever...

I'm convinced, it's a substitute for the happy pill. Come to think of it, it is the happy fill, isn't it? I've never been partial to chocolates, nicotine or caffiene...so this is as close I have for a quick happy fix.

Yet like all substitutes, its effect doesnt last long. You really cant fool yourself for the real thing. So here I am at it again. Like a pompous moron overdue for a quarter-life crisis, here I am again, wallowing in self-pity. Put walking contradiction up in my resume, will you? It's high school all over again! Oi!

Speaking of High School, I saw Mr. Stipes again over my valentine week. I wanted to rant over the occasion, but my inner KJ gut told me otherwise. He huddles over that internet cafe like a nut. So I opted for disclosures on mute. Needless to say, my head spun for the entire week. Think how it would feel like to be actually within a meter radius around that guy. I shudder at the thought. I'm an old hag I tell you. My stalker-self hasn't kicked in yet and I'm already in freak mode. Whatever effect he has on me, it' s been, er, fabulous. Who needs coke floats when you have death-inducing infatuations?

Hmm.. I do?